saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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