Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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