I faked an abortion last night.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
