You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
