I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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