Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
