She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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