Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
