There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
