Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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