My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
