Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i already hear my dad disowning me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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