She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
