he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
