I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
