is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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