i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
