Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
