I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
