I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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