my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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