Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
