Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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