I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
