OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
