jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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