tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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