i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
