yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
