you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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