yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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