Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My feet surprised me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
