Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
