Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
