so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
