and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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