today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
