i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
