there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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