youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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