he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
