You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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