am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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