no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it's great music for shaving your balls
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize