can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So squirting runs in the family.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
