how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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