I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm passing your future prison.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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