The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
