She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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