Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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