WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
