I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
