Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
