Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
