i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
